One of the biggest burdens is a debt you have to pay or owing someone. Sometimes it’s little things, like your friend’s hair tie or a good book. But what about when your friend owes you? And what if it isn’t something as minuscule as a hair tie? It can be lies, backstabbing, broken promises, jealousy, and other hurts that seem unforgettable – and unforgivable.
To be honest, I’m am terrible at forgiveness. True, I’m good at saying, “Yeah, sure, I’ll forgive you.” But the problem is, my heart is never in the sentiments. Those words mean nothing without feeling the emotion, and letting go of what’s grieving me. What I never realize in that moment is that Jesus forgives me daily of the ugly sins I commit. Even though I know these truths in my heart, my anger at the injustices can get out of control and I let it overwhelm me. Sometimes I even soak in self-pity because of the “terrible” things that someone has done to me.
This, I know, will always be a battle for me. I have the tendency to hold grudges. But I’m willing to fight against that. And I hope that in each situation I face, where I am asked to forgive, that I can let go of my anger and my hurt and see how blessed I am, not how persecuted I am. Jesus gives me tough positions so I can work through them and learn from them. Not to let my bitterness bog me down in my walk with Him. But to help me push harder towards the goal of Heaven.
Love, Brielle Boyfriend Bears Teen Board Member